Instead, I woke up in a bad mood. Then I had a couple of errands to run, so I decided to take Little Nut to Starbucks so he could read and drink apple juice and so I could try and squeeze in a devotional time, since I failed to get up early this morning. Four-year-olds just aren't good partners for deep thinking, even well-behaved ones.
One thing I did take from my time was that in the craziness of motherhood I might only be able to focus on one thing. And, today that one thing should be "Thank you, Jesus."
After several bathroom breaks, one emergency run for napkins, and numerous strangers interrupting to comment on Nut's "cool" new sunglasses, which he refused to take off while indoors, I closed out my scattered devotions and said, "Thank you, Jesus," and went to the store. In the produce section I reminded myself to say "Thank you, Jesus." I then proceeded to take longer than I intended grabbing things and left some of my groceries at the bagging station (every time I use self-checkout it's a bad experience!), arriving home short on cauliflower and time! We inhaled some lunch and were out the door again. Ugh. So much for a day of holy contemplation, but "Thank you, Jesus."
Then we rushed, to our staff's Good Friday service and I sat down feeling harried and scattered and shallow. Yet, as our service unfolded I found my mind relaxing and my heart settling. With my husband present my attention was more focused on worship and the message and less focused on managing The Child. It was a lovely hour-and-a-half reprieve. It gave depth to my "Thank you, Jesus," so that the next time I said it there was more humility and gratefulness behind it.
By the end of the day I actually had two things I learned from this Good Friday! Depth comes through repetition as much as it comes through long contemplation...we moms of young children can take solace in this! Even if I can only snatch enough of my mind back from motherhood to eek out a heart-felt "Thank you, Jesus," I can cultivate an awareness of His presence, and Jesus' presence never leaves one unaffected. Secondly, we all need the Body of Christ, especially us moms. I was walking home with Little Nut and true gratefulness for the service swept over me. I needed time to have my mind forcibly lead toward Christ and it helped to have the extra eyes on my child.
As I close out the day, still more scattered than centered, I am truly grateful to be a part of God's people and in the words of a hymn we sang today:
"Bearing shame and scoffing rude, in my place condemned He stood; sealed my pardon with His blood, hallelujah! What a Savior!" -Philip P. BlissThank you, Jesus, for today, an awfully wonderful day. What a Savior.
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